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el loser
Sexual Educator


Joined: 03 May 2003
Posts: 1750
Location: qunatico, va

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 7:55 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

alright, anyone else ever have the experience where someone who is already upset get's more upset at you because of something you said or did that happened to be innocent?

i mean, yeah, i try to dig myself out and i might nd up digging myself further in but i sure as hell don't expect the person to jump down my throught when it seems i've done nothing. then i feel bad and try to fix it and everything gets worse.

i'm not a bad person. i make mistakes, right? i'm not bad for thinking this? is it understandbale that i'm bitching about being made to feel bad when i was just trying to brighten someone's day?

Sad

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HyLander42
Crazy Guy with Knife


Joined: 03 May 2003
Posts: 1441

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 7:58 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Well, there's an obvious mistake right there: trying to help people. Nothing good ever comes out of it.
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Nadrogue
I have the bicycles.


Joined: 28 Jul 2003
Posts: 1540
Location: Jersey

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 10:35 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

Live for yourself, not for others.

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Gannondwarf
The Short One


Joined: 13 Nov 2003
Posts: 1067
Location: Villanova, PA

PostPosted: Wed Dec 03, 2003 11:05 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

that has happened to me way too many times... and i've done that to people too...

in that situation, the best course of action is backing away slowly and then avoiding them for a few days... never try to dig yourself out... you'll only bury yourself...

if you wanted to make them do a "wtf?" act as if you're going to say something, faking them out, then dashing away in the opposite direction...

i so should do a "worst case survival guide" on this one...

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Fearsome Anna
Bad Kitty Kitty!


Joined: 04 May 2003
Posts: 657
Location: warm, sunny Tampa Bay!

PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2003 6:26 am Reply with quoteBack to top

the best thing to do when someone misinterprets what you say is to apologize, explain yourself quickly and clearly, and leave it be. getting defensive and pissy only reflects badly on yourself and gets you dragged in more than you need to be. the other person will either accept your explanation or stay mad - but either way, you did your part. no point in making the situation worse.

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Vanblade
Lifeless Reject


Joined: 03 May 2003
Posts: 2911
Location: My pants are haunted!

PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2003 8:50 am Reply with quoteBack to top

no...you're a mean person and deserved to be punished
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chickiepie
Lifeless Reject


Joined: 05 May 2003
Posts: 2046

PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2003 11:03 am Reply with quoteBack to top

Fearsome Anna wrote:
the best thing to do when someone misinterprets what you say is to apologize, explain yourself quickly and clearly, and leave it be. getting defensive and pissy only reflects badly on yourself and gets you dragged in more than you need to be. the other person will either accept your explanation or stay mad - but either way, you did your part. no point in making the situation worse.


Completely agree. I think one of the best ways to avoid bad conflict is to never act defensive or angry. Adding passion to upset clouds judgement and upsets everyone even more b/c you/they get mad about the anger/defensiveness on top of the problem.

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Gannondwarf
The Short One


Joined: 13 Nov 2003
Posts: 1067
Location: Villanova, PA

PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2003 3:40 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

puddlejumpchick wrote:
Fearsome Anna wrote:
the best thing to do when someone misinterprets what you say is to apologize, explain yourself quickly and clearly, and leave it be. getting defensive and pissy only reflects badly on yourself and gets you dragged in more than you need to be. the other person will either accept your explanation or stay mad - but either way, you did your part. no point in making the situation worse.


Completely agree. I think one of the best ways to avoid bad conflict is to never act defensive or angry. Adding passion to upset clouds judgement and upsets everyone even more b/c you/they get mad about the anger/defensiveness on top of the problem.


that only works some times though... some people just won't take an apology and drop it... what then? turn and run, turn and run.

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el loser
Sexual Educator


Joined: 03 May 2003
Posts: 1750
Location: qunatico, va

PostPosted: Thu Dec 04, 2003 4:53 pm Reply with quoteBack to top

it hurts more when you apologize, try to make them feel better with other things knowing that you shouldn't try, and they still treat you poorly. just wish this world was nicer sometimes.

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