church ladies

Posted: Sat Oct 04, 2003 10:25 am

why is it that people feel they can come to the front door of someone's home and pass out flyers saying- not asking- that they should join their church?

church ladies said, not wrote:

oooo, you don't go to church? why not come to ours? go to church. it'll help you. what nice kitties. have a nice day! come to church!!

then the door closed. and they still were talking. rar!

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2003 8:39 am

I find debating their theology tends to make them run (hehehehe).

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2003 8:45 am

They think they're doing something good, and at least they're not using that energy to do something they think is bad, like peeing on your flowers.

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2003 9:31 am

Here's what to say to each group that may appear at your door:
If they say they're Baptist: "you are a Presbiterian" and can not accept their veiw of free will.

If they are Presbiterian: "you are Baptist" and can not accept their view of predestination.

If they are Jahova's Witnesses: you can not accept their view occult views and slam the door.

If they are Morman: I can not support a religion that endorses the practice of poligamy and slam the door. (if they are male and you are female, say I will not be your 3rd wife!)

If they are a non-denominational church say: I can not attend a chuch that has no defined theology.

If they are Uniterian: what is it exactly that you DO believe?

If they are Anglocan (Church of England.): I can not support a gay bishop.

If they are Methodist: your church's theology is built on works

If they are Luthern: I'm Catholic.

If they are Catholic: I can't support the pope.

Those brief sentances should end any conversation quickly.

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2003 9:33 am

eddie_baby wrote:

Here's what to say to each group that may appear at your door:
If they say they're Baptist: "you are a Presbiterian" and can not accept their veiw of free will.

If they are Presbiterian: "you are Baptist" and can not accept their view of predestination.

If they are Jahova's Witnesses: you can not accept their view occult views and slam the door.

If they are Morman: I can not support a religion that endorses the practice of poligamy and slam the door. (if they are male and you are female, say I will not be your 3rd wife!)

If they are a non-denominational church say: I can not attend a chuch that has no defined theology.

If they are Uniterian: what is it exactly that you DO believe?

If they are Anglocan (Church of England.): I can not support a gay bishop.

If they are Methodist: your church's theology is built on works

If they are Luthern: I'm Catholic.

If they are Catholic: I can't support the pope.

Those brief sentances should end any conversation quickly.

The quickest way that I found was "SIC EM, PACKET!". Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2003 9:42 am

dog's that are big (or at least sound it) are great deterants for scores of solictiors Twisted Evil

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2003 9:53 am

I once got rid of J. Witnesses by saying (truthfully) that my life had been saved by a blood transfusion when I was an infant, and I have difficulty buying into a life philosophy which asserts I should not exist.

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2003 9:56 am

eddie_baby wrote:

If they are Jahova's Witnesses: you can not accept their view occult views and slam the door.

Somethingawful had a goldmine on what to do when witnesses knock on your door. My favorite was say something like, "I'm sorry but I'd feel really bad joining the witnesses since I never actally saw Jesus do anything."

And besides, I don't believe God plays Keno

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2003 10:03 am

that's funny. Anytime that one of them quotes that passage, tell them to keep reading and they'll find the number to be much greater than 144k.

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2003 10:10 am

Ugh, now I have to go hunt down that passage.

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2003 11:10 am

http://www.biblegateway.com/cgi-bin/bible?passage=REV+7&language=english&version=NIV&showfn=on&showxref=on
here's a link to Chaper 7, the part about the 144k and then the "number no one could count."

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2003 11:55 am

Awesome Ed. Very cool stuff.

Posted: Mon Oct 06, 2003 12:00 pm

Don't ya love it how you can see it in 10 or so different verisions? I also like their comentary on it. They do a pretty good job referencing related profetic scripture and avoid trying to make it fit with just one donominations view of it. (Especially the world is going tomorrow people).