Is This Thing On?

First, we are all still alive.  The oldest two are 8 now, Josh just turned 2 and Baby #4 is due to make an appearance in about 2.5 months.  Yes, Baby #4.  You read that correctly, no need to adjust your screen.    Something I had wanted to blog about, in the get-it-off-my-chest kind of way, a year ago was that I was disappointed and depressed over not having a daughter.  I thought over time, my feelings would diminish and they probably would have given more time.  But at some point I just said “Fuck it, we’ll try again.  What’s one more kid in this nut house anyway?”   So I had my IUD removed and I’m pretty sure I got pregnant on the way home from the appointment.  Yes, that’s how good the Marine’s are at getting shit done.  (Okay in all seriousness, I got pregnant a month after having it removed.  A month to the day.)   The Marine’s mission was to produce a girl child this time.  At 17 weeks, on Aug 30th, we had the gender ultrasound which revealed a distinct lack of a penis.  Three weeks later I had my 20 week anatomy scan where, again, there was an obvious lack of penis.   Joe has started looking at guns, I started looking at purple dresses.  We also started the Name Game which went on for an annoying TEN weeks.  It took us ten weeks to pick a name.  And, really, “pick a name” is too strong a term.  I picked zillions of names and Joe said “naah” to all of them.  Finally I had a neck-full of his indecision and told him to just pick something.  He did, I love it, end of story.  Why it took 10 weeks is beyond me.  And so our baby girl is due to arrive around the middle of February, 2014.  That’s the big news from our camp.

In other news, the oldest two are doing well in school.  Little Man, at 2 years old, isn’t talking at all.  Cats are still crazy and cuddly.  We are probably moving again sometime next year.  Fingers crossed we go where we want to go.

Well that’s all for now, see you in a year!

Things I Don’t Understand

Why people want or “need” to own semi automatic assault rifles.

Why people who are involved with or in the military feel they are owed something from the military.

Why children need to be told the same simple things over and over and over.

How planes fly.


The media.

People who construct elaborate & crazy conspiracy theories.

Wedding dress designers.

People with really thick accents.

Christmas Gifts for Mom (AKA Nothing)

We all know Christmas isn’t about gifts.  Except that it pretty much is, good luck convincing yourself otherwise.  Let’s be honest, if you actually went an entire Christmas season without receiving one gift, you’d either cry or someone calls you “mom” and you go “oh right…”   Because mom does all the shopping.  And night after night (we do Hanukkah here) I watch four people in my house unwrap gifts while I…  watch.  Eight nights in a row.  Nothing.   Sometimes the older two even ask me why I don’t have any gifts and I say “I don’t know” and glare at my husband.  You try to keep saying to yourself “it’s not about the gifts” but let’s face it, it is a little about gifts.  Which leads to a little disappointment.   Which after a few nights of watching everyone open their presents, enjoy their gifts, play for a couple hours, all leads to the bitterness.  Then cue the guilt over feeling bitter and disappointed.  If only I could turn off emotions.  I’ve been in a really bad mood lately, I’m sure that’s not helping.  Have I mentioned I have a Dec. birthday?    And that I need a nap?

A Lot of Things

I always think of things to blog about during the day.  Specifically lately it’s been the election and Joshua’s birthday.  But once I sit down on the computer in the evening, I just can’t find the words or the energy.    And now the election has come and gone, tempers seem to be calming down a little, so it seems silly to bring it all back up.  (Go Obama!)

Now Joshua’s very first birthday has come and gone.  He turned the big 1 on Friday and had his party on Saturday.  Everyone came and ate desserts.  He got just the right amount of cute toys for inside, and a few people contributed some cash to get him a playset for outside.  He really likes to be outside with his big brothers in the afternoon but we don’t have any real toys for him to play with outside.  I thought a nice playset for him would be ideal.  I was able to order that this morning so we should have it soon enough.

And now today is Veteran’s Day, the day to be thankful for those who have served in a war.  Which has caused people near and far to post a lot of military related stuff on Facebook.  Most of it is fine, but eventually the “military spouses have the hardest job” crap comes out, followed shortly by “dual military have the hardest job” and then “former military and currant military have the hardest job”  and “former military brats married to former military with military kids have the hardest job” and so on and so forth.  It really just gives me an eye twitch sometimes.  Maybe because I was raised in a military household and then married into the military I have a skewed sense of what’s normal, but I just don’t get it.  I don’t understand why people, for 1, feel the need to put the military on a pedestal, and 2, why people have to play the “One Up” game.   It’s not that I’m not sympathetic to the challenges of a military lifestyle, obviously I am all too familiar with it.  But I just don’t think I, as a spouse, have “the hardest job in the Corps.”  Nobody is shooting at me while I do laundry.  I don’t go to bed at night worried about rocket attacks.  But my husband has.  Albeit not lately.

I’m glad that our community here in Florida and other communities where we have lived have been supportive of the military.  I’m glad people recognize that the lifestyle is a little different than most people’s lifestyle.  But we aren’t the only ones who deal with spouses being gone or spouses being in harms way on a regular basis.

It probably boils down to neither my husband or I being attention whores.

But here’s some pictures of my birthday boy:

mmmmm cupcake

Twins from a professional shoot we had down.

Another Four Years

(I don’t know why this isn’t posting the actual post title I typed in which is: Another Four Years.)

The husband finally re-enlisted today.  So he is officially doing four more years in the Corps and we are tagging along for the ride.    I say “finally” because the paperwork has been going around tables since around March.  When I say that his re-enlistment package has been in since March and he just re-enlisted now in September, that looks pretty bad for him, but it’s not.  There were a lot of people higher up than him dropping the ball on this.  Because we keep being assigned to non-Marine Corps bases, the process gets a little muddled.   But the end result finally happened and it’s done.

Four. More. Years.

A month ago I would have been proud to say my husband re-enlisted.

This month?  This month I’ve had a neck full of the Marine Corps.  I suppose the old adage “When it rains, it pours” comes into play here.  We can go several months with no complaints or problems, then all of a sudden all kinds of dumb shit happens.  This month was the month of all the dumb shit.  So I’m a little over it right now.

One thing that’s pissed me off is an upcoming TDY (tempory duty “yonder” aka they send him somewhere else for a short visit but nobody is shooting at him).  We know he’s going.  We know where he’s going.  We just don’t know when or for how long.  He’s heard several rumors and different stories, everything from 3 weeks to 3 months.  I finally told him not to tell me anything until he had a plane ticket with his name on it.

I will proudly support my husband’s decision to re-enlist.  Eventually.  It is a good decision.

Semper Gumby.

Seriously People

How many more years do we have to re-live 9/11?? Seriously, I don’t know how much more I can take. NOBODY IS FORGETTING. Even the people who WANT to forget that horrible day can’t because nobody will shut up about it. Yes it was a horrible, tragic day. Got it. Move on.

The Water Here

Our whole family is enjoying the beautiful water along the Emerald Coast of Florida.  There’s no waiting until August when the water is warm enough to go in.  There’s no timing your entry (and exit!) into the water with the waves so you don’t get pummeled into the sand.    We have been swimming in the water since we got here, which was towards the end of March.  People who are from this area think it’s too cold in March, but those of us from The Great White North were fine with the water temperature.   The waves on the Gulf are calm enough that the kids can go in the water & the baby can crawl along the shoreline without too much problem.  Baby J has come to love the water, just like the rest of us.  He loves the pool, beach, even the bath.  If it’s water, he is all smiles.

Yesterday the twins & I went with our next door neighbor to the infamous Crab Island.  It’s not really an island (though it is full of crabs), it’s just a sand bar between Okaloosa Island and Destin.  You take a boat out, anchor it near or on the sand bar and everyone gets out and plays.  The kids caught about a bazillion hermit crabs and two spider crabs.  Which look like this:

Spider crabs

Not the most attractive or delicious looking of the crab family.

Here’s what Crab Island looks like:

Me & the twins

Twins & their friends

Then we went for a ride on the boat to try and see some dolphins.  We went under the Okaloosa-Destin Bridge..

Under the bridge

Bridge & wake

Past Destin Harbor…


And out into the beautiful turquoise blue waters of the Gulf.  We did see dolphins, including a mama & baby dolphin.  They were too quick for me to get a picture with my cell phone.  I don’t think I’ll ever go back to Rehoboth again.

More Ridiculous Holidays

There are some holidays that I consider Hallmark Holidays; mostly made up by commercialism to get people to buy shit.  These Hallmark Holidays include, but are not limited to: Valentine’s Day, Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, Teacher Appreciation Day, Secretaries Day (think they changed the name of that one, though), etc.  Today is one of them, Military Spouse Appreciation Day.  It’s not that I think these people don’t deserve to be appreciated, I just think having a day to do it is stupid.  You should appreciate your mom, dad, teachers, secretaries and spouses, military or not, every day.  And Valentine’s Day?  Don’t even get me started on the commercialism of that shit.

Anyway, like I said, today is the day we are supposed to appreciate military spouses for some reason.  And this Sunday, two short days from now, is Mother’s Day.   Joe and I usually don’t do much for it, mostly because I am not his mother so I don’t feel he needs to get me a gift.  The twins have always done something sweet at school and that’s been enough.  I think last year, Joe took the boys out of the house for awhile and they eventually came home with purple flowers for me.   This year I will be getting a little something for both military spouse appreciation day and mother’s day:  Joe’s leaving.  Again.    And there’s an excellent chance  he will miss Josh’s birthday in the fall and possibly Christmas.   Is it wrong that I want to shout at every new military spouse to wait to have kids?

Yup, I’m a Bitch. And Proud of It.

My husband is in the military, which makes me a “military spouse.”  Sometimes I’m cool with the title, but honestly there are a lot of times when I wish I could just say “my husband is a mechanic” and leave it at that.  Today has been one of those days.

Good ole Facebook brought me to the Military Spouse Magazine, and their website  It’s not all bad, they do occasionally have good info on Tricare benefit changes or have polls & articles that are at least worth a once-over.  But a few weeks ago they published an “article” titled “How to Talk to Civilians (Without Going Crazy)”.   It’s a list of a few suggestions for military spouses talking to non-military spouses.  I would first like to point out that military spouses ARE civilians.  I am not in the military, my husband is.  Therefore I am a civilian.   So lets evaluate this shit-list point by point (I have nothing to do for the next half hour).

  1. Drop the acronyms and lingo.” Okay, I’ll give them that this is kind of a big one.  Most non-mil spouses don’t know what PCS or TDY are.  But my husband talks to me in full sentences that I don’t understand because they are so full of acronyms and lingo.  Also a lot of the acronyms & lingo are different base to base.  For instance when we left MD we had to deal with the PPO (personal property office) for our move.  When we got here, it’s TMO (transportation something or other office) (movement, I think it’s movement).  Anywho, I do kinda agree with this one.  ”We just moved here” makes more sense to the majority of people than “we just PCS’ed here.”  Then again, because we are Marines and keep getting stationed on non-Marine bases, I usually have to explain things anyway.  Like what the JSF is. One example this article gives is to explain what the commissary is.  The military is not the only organization in the world that uses the term commissary.
  2. “Be prepared for the public. Military spouses have two stereotypes: selfless saints or sluts living high on the government dime.” Really??  Really?!!?  Saints or sluts??  That’s all we get??  I think you forget: entitled bitches, regular bitches, officer wives, enlisted wives, dependapotamus’, baby makers, cheaters, nurses, lawyers, teachers, wives, mothers, daughters, sisters, etc.    We are just spouses.  There is no perfect group of people.  I do think military spouses get stereotyped for being cheating whores.  But, to be fair, there’s a reason that’s the stereotype.  I have lived in housing.  There IS A REASON for that stereotype.   I think a truer scope of how non-mil spouses see mil spouses would be:  cheaters, entitled bitches and ungrateful bitches.   No amount of sugar coating it will make it better.   I personally have been called ungrateful when I complained about the housing company never fixing the leak in our roof that caused mold to grow in our house.  I was told by a non-mil spouse that I should just fix it myself and be happy I have a house to live in for free.  But of course we were renting so I can’t fix the roof under the terms of the lease and my “free” house cost us almost $1700 a month.
  3. Carefully consider before you challenge longtime, local traditions.” This one I kind of agree with, kind of the ole “when in Rome” attitude.  But honestly, what kind of uppity person thinks everything needs to be done their own way?
  4. “Whine cautiously. Don’t complain often about your life, expecting your civilian friends will “get it.” This is the first of two that make me want to punch the author.  How hard is it exactly to understand that your spouse is gone and life is harder?  My friends get it.  What kind of friends would they be if they didn’t understand?  They wouldn’t be MY friends, that’s for sure.  I have never understood why military wives think their life is so much harder than that of others.  A girlfriend of mine travels all the time for work, and I mean all the time.  I literally can’t keep track of where she is on a weekly basis.  She’s engaged but has no children.  If she chooses to continue her job after having kids, it will be just as hard on her spouse and kids as it is on me and my kids when my husband is gone.  My life isn’t any harder because my husband is military.  When he’s gone, he’s gone.  It doesn’t matter.  He’s NOT HOME.   Granted, I might be a smidge more stressed if he were in Iraq or Afghanistan as opposed to Chicago.   And what about the spouses of firemen and police officers?  They send their spouse to work in dangerous conditions EVERY DAY.  My husband is only occasionally sent into dangerous conditions.
  5. This is the one that makes my blood boil:  ”Don’t dismiss civilian spouses’ complaints. Military spouses deal with things routinely that other spouses find devastating, like moving away from friends, finding a new job, or being out of contact with your spouse for more than 20 minutes. Learn this phrase: “It must be very hard for you.” Practice saying it sincerely. Nod with empathy. Pat the person on the back. Then call your military girlfriends later and laugh.” This paragraph is why military spouses get a bad reputation (that and the cheating thing).  For one thing, military or civilian, moving IS devastating.  Every move we make as a military family is away from friends who become family, away from jobs, further away from our real families.  And we have to do it ALL THE TIME.  You don’t get used to it.  It doesn’t get easier.   And “being out of contact with your spouse for more than 20 minutes?”  Are you fucking kidding me?   The last sentence is the absolute worst.   It has literally made me embarrassed to be a part of this particular online community.  I have stated so on their Facebook page and the actual website.  To encourage ANYONE to laugh behind someone’s back is so incredibly degrading and childish. It’s an embarrassment to the entire military spouse community.  It’s an embarrassment to the entire military community.

Two v. One, or How I Love My Children Equally, But More so When They Arrive One at a Time

I’m not up for Mother of the Year anyway, so here goes.

I have a set of twins who will be SEVEN tomorrow.  This is mind boggling to me.   One might say the twins were  a bit of an accident.  As in “Doctor, or so you call yourself, I’ve been taking these pills that you prescribed me to turn my eggs into shriveled little unfertilizable blobs and these five sticks I just pissed on say you are a complete asshat.”    Followed some weeks by “WTF DUDE TWINS???  TWWIIINNNSSS?????”   Then as soon as they were born it was obvious they are fraternal which means TWO eggs somehow managed to not shrivel under the prescribed drugs.   I didn’t go back to that doctor again.

So anyway, I had the twins when I wasn’t really in the mindset to have children.  Plus I was young and semi-stupid.  I did everything by the book, which at the time I thought was the way you do it, but now I think I should have done it my own way.  So I never rocked them to sleep for fear I would have to break that habit, times two.  I never co-slept for fear I would have to break that habit, times two.  I never held them too much or ran too quickly when they cried, for fear that those habits would have to be broken, times two.  I also worried if I was holding one more than the other.  The usual things like changing diapers and feeding were more like chores to me, but I think that was more due to my not wanting to have kids (but let’s face it, it IS a chore when they are small).  I don’t think I got over that for a long time.  I thought that once I had them, I would fall in love with them immediately and everything would turn into rainbows & butterflies.   The only thing that happened was that I did love them immediately, but I didn’t love having them, if that makes sense.  And sometimes I thought I only loved them because I had to, but that was just my guilt tricking me.  I did love them and I do love them.    I’ve seen many other women have “whoops” babies and they all seemed to handle it better than I did.  ’Course none of them had twins so I’m going to use that excuse rather than I was a terrible parent.

I think I was a good parent, but maybe I wasn’t such a great mother.  But it all worked out in the end.  The twins are thriving, I fell in love with them over time.  I think it helped when they started to develop their personalities.  Just like they had to grow into their personalities, I had to grow into being a mom.

These thoughts have kinda tugged at me over the years.  But they’ve really come to light now that baby Josh has arrived.  He was planned.  I wanted him.  I wanted him for about a year before efforts were made to make him.  There was a few weeks when I found out he was a he that I didn’t want him, I admit it.  He was supposed to be my girl, but apparently I don’t know how to make girls.  Or Joe doesn’t.  Whatever.    But having him has been a completely different experience.  And not just from the logistical aspect of having one baby vs. having two babies, although OH MY GOD is it easier having one.  I find myself enjoying him so much more than when the twins were his age.  We all enjoy him, even the twins.  Alex invites people over and says “come see my baby” or “this is my baby.”  He is well loved and well spoiled.  For the first few months, I never wanted to put him down.  He slept with me half the time and I loved it.  He would nap on my chest when he was small and I loved every second of it, and now that he’s too big and squirmy, I miss it so much.   He is still enjoyable now, of course.  He’s just shy of 6 months old, already scooting & rolling around, laughing and smiling.  And of course I find it so much easier with one baby than with two babies.    I am enjoying him so much I find myself thinking thoughts I swore I would never have.   Thoughts of possibly doing it again.  At this point there are only three things stopping me:  1. Joe doesn’t want to.  2.  I can’t handle the disappointment if I had another boy.  3.  I really, really can’t handle the disappointment if I had another boy.

The one thing that all babies do the same, whether you have 1, 2, or 3 at once, is grow up so fast.  My babies will be 7 tomorrow, and my baby baby will be 6 months a few days after that.  Soon he’ll be a year old, the twins will be in high school, then they’ll all be gone.    And I’ll be stuck with Joe and his proficient farting skills.