Let me preface this upcoming rant with the typical placating compliment:  I do love Kohls.   I will still shop their physical stores in the future.  My shopping on their website has come to an end, however.

Two weeks ago I placed an order of winter pajamas for the twins.  Two weeks later, I have still not received them.  But let’s go back two weeks ….

After placing the order, I received a message on the order webpage that my credit card information could not be processed.  I checked my bank account and they had already put a hold on the money in my account so obviously it’s there.  What else could be the problem?  Cue annoyance level 1.  So after being on hold I got whatever random customer service rep who said there was an address mismatch.  I proceeded to tell her how this was SUPPOSED to have been straightened out the last time I placed an order, that I had corrected the address myself several times AND had someone at their customer service change it as well.  But I guess those changes have done nothing.  Cue annoyance level 2.  So I tell this girl to change my address to the one where I actually live, then I place the order.  I specifically tell the moron to ship it to the address that should now be the ONLY address in their system.  There should be only one!  Apparently there was not, because they shipped it to my old address.  Cue annoyance level 3.

Fast forward 2 weeks and cue annoyance level 5.  (Yes, I know I skipped one.)  I call kohls.com to find out where the fuck my shit is.  Don’t worry, I didn’t phrase it that way even though I really wanted to.  The first girl I got told me that I need to call the shipper and find out.   Her attitude cues annoyance level 7.  (Skipped one again!)  I then told her that since the shipper has yet to physically receive the package, I fail to see how it’s any of their responsibility.   So she gives me some line about having someone from the warehouse call me.  Cue annoyance level 7.5.

The next day I receive an email canceling my order and supposedly refunding my money (I have yet to see it.)  Cue annoyance level 9.  I call kohls.com again and tell them I don’t want the order canceled, I want it shipped to me at the CORRECT address immediately (and the original pricing, of course), as in free 2-day shipping.   I think that’s fair after they held it for 2 weeks, right?  They give me the usual “oooh well uuuhm… we uuhm… ” and eventually lament and say I’ll get an email confirmation, etc, yadda yadda.  Cue annoyance level 8.

This morning I receive an email from a customer representative saying I (me) (myself) have to place the entire order again through kohls.com, then email them the new order number so they can “fix” the charges, because of course now things are not priced the same, and they’ll ship it out with free shipping.   Cue annoyance level 10.   Now maybe I’m just being unreasonable, but why the hell should I have to re-do the entire order?  Why can’t they just slap a new shipping label on the original package and send it to me?   Or why can’t THEY put the effort into fixing THEIR mistake?  I know people make mistakes, and that’s fine, but it shouldn’t be my responsibility to place the order again so they can un-fuck it up.  Grumble.  I think I will mull this over and tackle this later today.  Right now I just want to email them back with an emphatic “Stick this order up your ass and feel free to delete my user information, I won’t be needing it anymore.”

Filed under: Kate, WTF??