Christmas Gifts for Mom (AKA Nothing)

We all know Christmas isn’t about gifts.  Except that it pretty much is, good luck convincing yourself otherwise.  Let’s be honest, if you actually went an entire Christmas season without receiving one gift, you’d either cry or someone calls you “mom” and you go “oh right…”   Because mom does all the shopping.  And night after night (we do Hanukkah here) I watch four people in my house unwrap gifts while I…  watch.  Eight nights in a row.  Nothing.   Sometimes the older two even ask me why I don’t have any gifts and I say “I don’t know” and glare at my husband.  You try to keep saying to yourself “it’s not about the gifts” but let’s face it, it is a little about gifts.  Which leads to a little disappointment.   Which after a few nights of watching everyone open their presents, enjoy their gifts, play for a couple hours, all leads to the bitterness.  Then cue the guilt over feeling bitter and disappointed.  If only I could turn off emotions.  I’ve been in a really bad mood lately, I’m sure that’s not helping.  Have I mentioned I have a Dec. birthday?    And that I need a nap?


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